Jun
Father’s Day is a day to celebrate all things ‘Dad’!
Yes… even his dad jokes…
So what better way to help him celebrate his special day this year, than with 45 of the BEST Dad Jokes out there…
@DadJokeMan
If you follow Tickled Moon’s Facebook, Instagram or Twitter pages you’ll see that we LOVE a good ‘dad joke’ and my favourite place of all to find them is on Twitter with The Dad Joke Man (@DadJokeMan).
The jokes and puns that he shares and creates himself, are the best quality I’ve found anywhere. What makes it more extraordinary is that he’s not a professional comedian, simply “a regular Dad, from the UK, married with a son”. He says that “this is just a hobby… I like to cheer up Twitter as much as I can!”
Which in my opinion, he definitely does in style.
So without further ado, here are some of the BEST dad jokes that you’ll find (in rough categories) – with thanks to and permission from @DadJokeMan – to brighten up not only dad’s day but any day!
Relationship Dad Jokes
For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.
Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently…
***
I once met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in our local park…
She sells C cells by the seesaw…
***
My best friend totally changed when she became a vegan…
It’s like I never knew herbivore
Today, my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
***
My wife likes it when I blow cold air on her when she’s too hot.
Personally I’m not a fan…
***
I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker…
But when I got home all the signs were there.
***
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my constant celebrity name dropping…
David Beckham warned me that this might happen.
Job Dad Jokes
A friend of mine went for an interview with an airline in Helsinki 10 years ago and he’s not been seen since.
He vanished into Finnair…
***
I’ve got an interview tomorrow to become the boss at Old McDonald’s Farm.
It’s for the position of CIEIO.
***
I just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop…
They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable.
***
My mate has a new girlfriend who works as a bin lady.
The trouble is he can never remember if he’s taking her out on a Wednesday or a Thursday…
On my first day as a delivery driver for Mr Kipling I had to do an emergency stop!
Fortunately the lorry had exceedingly good brakes…
***
The CEO of Ikea was elected President of Sweden this week.
He’s still assembling his cabinet…
***
My wife and I are both tightrope walkers.
We met online…
***
I used to have a job cutting holes to make trapdoors for theatres…
It was just a stage I was going through.
Animal Dad Jokes
Some people claim filling animals with helium is wrong.
I say, whatever floats your goat…
***
My cat has just eaten three mallards!
He’s a duck filled fatty puss.
***
My dog can float perfectly still on water.
He’s such a good buoy.
I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees.
The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.
“You’ve given me one too many”.
“That one is a freebie”.
***
I’ve just finished writing a book on snakes.
It would have been much easier if I’d just written it on paper…
***
I poured some water over a duck’s back yesterday.
He didn’t seem to mind.
Food Dad Jokes
I keep saying ‘Welsh rabbit’ instead of ‘Welsh rarebit’
Think I’m suffering from mixing my toasties…
***
Saw a baguette at the zoo.
It was bread in captivity.
***
So I said to my wife “Would you like a Kit-Kat Chunky?”
Over five hours in A&E…
I’ve been banned from the Secret Cooking Society…
I kept spilling the beans.
***
I had to resign from my job as an ice cream taste tester.
I couldn’t work sundaes…
***
I’ve had to steal something to stir my pancake batter with…
But it was a whisk I was willing to take.
And finally…(Miscellaneous Dad Jokes!)
My inflatable house got a puncture last night.
Now, I’m living in a flat.
***
My wife asked “Do you know any tennis puns?”
I said “No, they’re not really my forte love”.
***
I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.
I’m now in hospital, waiting to be seen…
I wasted 4 hours in A&E last night getting a mole checked.
Apparently they all look like that and I should’ve left it in the garden…
***
I went into a shop and asked “Can I have a bottle of shampoo please?”
The woman said, “Extra volume?”
“CAN I HAVE A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO PLEASE!”
***
The man who invented the word search has died.
His funeral will be held next…
T T I S P V G K M P
H J G U O N Q U X
N M O N D A Y W Z
B A T K T E N O P G
H C V N K O T D I M
____________________________________________________________
I hope these 45 of the Best Dad Jokes have brought a smile to yours (and dad’s) face. If you have enjoyed them, then please give a follow to The Dad Joke Man (@DadJokeMan) on Twitter or keep an eye on Tickled Moon’s Facebook, Instagram or Twitter pages for our favourites.
And it doesn’t have to be Father’s Day to share one of our personalised books with dad or grandad!
You can check out all of our beautiful books – including several where dad/grandad can be part of the story too – at TickledMoon.com.
Extra good!