The Baby Name Critic was just eleven when Princess Diana died. It was a horrible day. Diana was like a fictional aunt to her, and even inspired her to get into the academic field of Baby Name Criticism (royals really do have the best time dredging up arcane names from the past for their children, and also giving their kids 19 middle names). When Diana died, the royal family lost most of its panache. Even Waity Katie can't really make up for the void Diana left, no matter how good her blowout is.

If Kim Kardashian's extremely shiny nude body in Paper threatened to break the internet, her sister Kourtney's barely-clothed pregnant photoshoot for Dujour will at least leave a small chip in the internet's paint. Maybe a surface scratch, but that'll probably buff out.

Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian will attempt to Take the Hamptons in the latest reality-show spinoff from the Kardashian® brand/family, but the Hamptons refuse to surrender without a fight.

Here are the photos of Kourtney Kardashian's first public outing with her baby, in case you're into that sort of thing.

The Social Security Administration's latest list of top baby names has been released, and it offers a fresh look at which names to avoid if you care at all about your kid's individuality.

Get those cameras off of her — the oldest Kardashian daughter says she's "feeling claustrophobic," according to her blog post, "Feeling Claustrophobic."

Hark! Ye harbingers of consumer doom, the Kardashians, have released their 2011 Christmas card. Whereas last year's yuletide feat of airbrushed uncanny put viewers in a trance state, this year's card will make you go, "A-woooo-gah!" while pumping 3-D glasses back and forth in the airspace in front of your face. (Like so.) This year's KardashiKard comes three dimensions, you see. [Image via Kourtney Kardashian]

Chanel designer and alien robot of fabulousness Karl Lagerfeld is launching two new retail fashion lines, called "Karl" and "Karl Lagerfeld." To promote them, he is co-opting the letter 'K.' Women's Wear Daily reports,

We watched Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage go to hell in a handbasket during the premiere episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York. On Sunday night, it was Kim's relationship with one sister that took a beating, instead, when she went kompletely krazy on Khloe for accidentally waking her up an hour earlier than she wanted.

Courtney Love scares Lindsay Lohan straight. Zoe Saldana gets "hot and heavy" with Bradley Cooper. A Kourtney Kardashian wedding is "imminent." Kristin Cavallari gets re-engaged. Do as Thursday gossip says, not as it did in the '90s.

Daniel Craig ridicules Kourtney Kardashian's placenta. Kellan Lutz gives himself a "Hitler Youth" hairdo. Ali Lohan wonders whether Dina will let her get plastic surgery. Ashton Kutcher hangs out with a cow. Wednesday gossip is full of hate.

Kourtney Kardashian of the French reality show "Les Kardashiennes" is with child for the second time to Scott Disick, the 99 Cents Only store's answer to Patrick Bateman. Gah, why does she let that creepy guy keep touching her? Oh yes, because he's the ElephantPenis Man. Sigh.

After three years of dating a real, live celebrity Adam Shulman puts a ring on it. Hugh Jackman's wife complains about his gay rumors. Demi Moore "steps out" with a man. Kim Kardashian gives up on "fairy tale" love. Tuesday gossip is something blue.

When Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from neanderthal Kris Humphries on Halloween after only 72 days of wedded bliss, many were shocked. But after watching tonight's premiere of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, even someone as dumb as Humphries himself should be able to see that the marriage was doomed from the onset. To illustrate that point, I made a video of the episode's most contentious Kim vs. Kris moments, which you'll find above. [Kourtney and Kim Take New York]

Kris Humphries' stunning pattern of gas-passing is revealed. Jennifer Lopez and her boytoy escape to Hawaii. And Prince Harry is still partying out west. Saturday gossip rode Revenge of the Mummy, twice.

Kristin Cavallari feuds with the Kardashians. (Fingers crossed for mutual destruction.) Beyonce debuts her 2008 wedding dress. George Clooney's 11-year-old co-star calls him out. Thursday gossip throws the gauntlet.

Kardashian cast mate Scott Disick is the biggest dick on television. But is his dick big, too? During an interview with xoJane.com, Kourtney referred to her baby daddy's penis as "like an elephant's trunk." Kim and Khloe immediately jumped in with their own lurid descriptions of their sister's partner's phallus. Just normal sister stuff, you know?

Royal horror: Pippa Middle got into an upskirt photo situation at London Fashion Week. Now, the simplest way to avoid an upskirt photograph is to wear longer skirts or pants. (Or live in a world with civility. Hah! Right.) Unfortunately, starlets live in a world where the skirts are short, the cars are fancy and difficult to climb out of, and cameras are everywhere. Consequently, starlets' vaginas are in perpetual peril. How do they deal with this? Now presenting the Seven Highly Effective Habits of Starlets With Cameras Pointed Up Their Skirts.

While they (and their pr team) have denied plastic surgery rumors time and time again, it seems likely that Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian have each gone under the knife at some point during their fame-journey. We consulted Dr. Anthony Youn, a Board-certified plastic surgeon, for his expert opinion on which procedure(s) each sister has had done. Click ahead for a guide to Kardashian Sister Surgery 101!

Silly you, thinking yesterday's Keeping Up with the Kardashians season finale marked the beginning of a reprieve from America's most undeservedly famous family. Because tonight, Kim, Kourtney and Khloe took the Late Show by storm for an interview with David Letterman. They were annoying, obviously, but you know what was kind of fun? Watching Letterman conduct the interview like he was talking to three surprisingly articulate toddlers with gigantic breasts. Here's our highlight reel.